A poem about angst by David Tombale: Where is my dad?

This poem is another contemplative piece that addresses issues I faced during a particularly difficult high school period. I hope those who have faced a similar struggle with their inner mind will relate.


Where is my dad?

I am afraid,

I told my subconscious as we fought.

Come now there's this thing,

unformed,

this need,

I am afraid,

 I declared my fear to a room of strangers

 or so I thought

but no sound escaped my lips,

no breath went past these lungs and formed the words,

amid the silent tombs of my mind's halls

I fought a war against myself.

Come now there's this thing,

 this need,

you know this thing,

you've seen it's soul.

I am afraid

so I sat against the wall

my eyes drifting towards the door;

 

David!

David!

I am afraid,

he paused mid blow,

he paused,

his eyes were wide and shocked,

you would persist?

You would retreat?!

 David!

Can't you hear me call?

My eyes on hers,

I watched her gush like she had before,

before now,

before then,

 it's standard form,

my eyes drifting towards the door;

 

Brother it isn't far to fall,

come let us be gone,

unheeded tears formed inside my eyes,

I am afraid,

and I wish they'd understand,

I wish I'd tell it so it wouldn't kill me to keep it in,

I am afraid,

and where is my dad to hold my hand?

Self conscious,

a man in need of help,

disgraceful

but still I miss the comfort of his strength,

I miss that voice that always said in response

to falling tears, "come now it will be all right."